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thegirl20TITLE: Born to hand jive, baby
FANDOM: Girls Aloud RPS
RATING: R
DISCLAIMER: I am in no way implying that this is a true representation of the 'real-people' in the story. I mean no disrespect.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Very short, very silly piece of nonsense, because I told![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
faithtastic that I'd write about Nadine's fahngarz. (But which actually turned out to be more about Sarah being a raging alcoholic) And anyway, she already wrote porny fic about Nadine's hands herself way better than I ever could!
Sarah stumbles a bit on her way back to the table, only just managing to keep the tray of drinks she's carrying upright with minimum spillage. They're in the VVIP room at the Brits after-party, wall-to-wall A-listers and champagne flowing like a bloody river. However, the table service is a bit slow for her liking. She'd followed Nadine to the toilet but got distracted by the bar on the way. She finally makes it back to their booth, plants the tray on the table and beams at the other girls.
"Awright, ladies! Shots all round!" she shouts, holding up two glasses and downing them both in quick succession.
Kimberley pulls Sarah down beside her and gives her a warning look, to which Sarah pays no heed whatsoever. She leans forward, throwing an arm over Kim's shoulders and beckoning Nicola and Cheryl to lean in from the opposite side of the table.
"One of The Saturdays just tried to snog me!" she tries to whisper but ends up shouting.
"Which one?" Nicola asks, as gleefully as it is possible for Nicola to ever be.
Sarah's face scrunches up in thought and she runs her hand through her hair.
"I wanna say...Freddie?"
Cheryl rolls her eyes.
"There isn't one called Freddie, babes."
"Well I don't know their bloody names, do I? They all kind of blend into one," Sarah protests. She glances at the two untouched shots in front of Kimberley. "You gonna drink those?"
Kim lifts the glasses and places them out of Sarah's reach.
"No, and neither are you. And how can you not know their names, Sarah? We toured with them for bloody months!" she admonishes.
Sarah bumps Kimberley's shoulder affectionately.
"Oh Kimba, some of us don't give a toss what the warm-up act's names are."
"Support act," Kimberley corrects.
"D'you mean, 'Frankie', pet?" Cheryl askes, hiding a smirk at Sarah and Kimberley's exchange. Kimberley's been like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs all night, ever since Sarah proceeded to get monumentally plastered directly after their performance.
"Is she the one with the boy hair-cut?" Sarah asks.
"Listen to who's talking?" Kimberley mutters, playing with the short hairs at the nape of Sarah's neck.
"Well it was her then," Sarah affirms, leaning past Kimberley and swiping one of the shot glasses before she can be stopped.
"Where's Nadine?" Kimberley enquires, after yanking the glass out of Sarah's hand and downing it herself.
"Is she snogging one of the Saturdays too?" Nicola asks, then sniggers. Because when Nicola's drunk she finds everything about a hundred and ten percent funnier than when she's sober.
"Nah, she's at the loo," Sarah says. Her eyes go wide as she remembers something. "Fuck! I forgot to go to the toilet, I'm dying for a piss!"
"I'm goin' in a minute, you can come with me," Nicola offers and Kimberley tries not to sigh, because Sarah and Nicola should not be allowed to be drunk together in public.
"So, did you snog her back?" Cheryl asks.
Sarah shrugs.
"A bit. Was a nice change of pace from having Kimba's tongue down my throat, eh Kimba?" she says, nudging Kimberley quite painfully.
"Jesus, you get pissed and snog your mates a couple of times and they never let you live it down! I haven't done that in ages, Sarah," Kimberley says, wearily.
"True," Sarah says. She gets a glint in her eye and leans in conspiratorily again. "So, if you were gonna do a girl, properly like, who would it be?"
"I wouldn't," Nicola says, shaking her head firmly, an expression of mild disgust crossing her face.
Sarah rolls her eyes.
"OK, so everyone who isn't Ms Prude in the corner here, who would you do?"
"Who would you do?" Cheryl asks, turning Sarah's question back on her, her voice carrying a defensive edge.
"Nadine," Sarah says, without having to think about it.
"Eh?" Nicola says, suddenly interested in the conversation again.
"Nadine?" Kimberley asks. "Out of every girl in the world, you'd pick Nadine? Why?"
Cheryl remains silent but her cheeks are flushed and she's picking at the label on an empty bottle.
"Uh, hello? Two words. Well. Endowed." Sarah says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Then she holds her hand up and wiggles her fingers.
"Ew!" Nicola says.
"Ah!" Kimberley says, nodding.
Cheryl says nothing.
"I don't suppose it's exactly the same principle though, is it?" Kimberley continues. "I mean...she could do some damage with those things." She shifts uncomfortably in her seat at the thought.
"What do you think, Chezza?" Sarah prompts her unusually quiet bandmate. "Too long?"
Cheryl looks up quickly.
"What you askin' me for? How should I know? It's not like I'm a bloody expert on Nadine's fingers!"
Her unexpected outburst silences the other three and they stare at her in confusion. Then Kimberley's hand flies to cover her mouth.
"Oh my God!"
Cheryl meets her eyes and shakes her head slightly.
"What?" Sarah and Nicola say in unison.
"You...you haven't..." Kimberley asks.
"Haven't what?" Nicola asks even as Sarah starts to grin.
Cheryl takes a long drink from her glass to buy some time, but before she can confirm or deny any of their thoughts, Nadine appears at the end of the booth.
"Feckin' VVIP room my arse. The bloody hand-dryers in the toilet are all broken, can you believe it?" she rants, indignantly. She holds up both hands. "My fingers are soakin' wet, so they are!"
Cheryl's drink comes out of her nose.
FANDOM: Girls Aloud RPS
RATING: R
DISCLAIMER: I am in no way implying that this is a true representation of the 'real-people' in the story. I mean no disrespect.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Very short, very silly piece of nonsense, because I told
faithtastic that I'd write about Nadine's fahngarz. (But which actually turned out to be more about Sarah being a raging alcoholic) And anyway, she already wrote porny fic about Nadine's hands herself way better than I ever could!Sarah stumbles a bit on her way back to the table, only just managing to keep the tray of drinks she's carrying upright with minimum spillage. They're in the VVIP room at the Brits after-party, wall-to-wall A-listers and champagne flowing like a bloody river. However, the table service is a bit slow for her liking. She'd followed Nadine to the toilet but got distracted by the bar on the way. She finally makes it back to their booth, plants the tray on the table and beams at the other girls.
"Awright, ladies! Shots all round!" she shouts, holding up two glasses and downing them both in quick succession.
Kimberley pulls Sarah down beside her and gives her a warning look, to which Sarah pays no heed whatsoever. She leans forward, throwing an arm over Kim's shoulders and beckoning Nicola and Cheryl to lean in from the opposite side of the table.
"One of The Saturdays just tried to snog me!" she tries to whisper but ends up shouting.
"Which one?" Nicola asks, as gleefully as it is possible for Nicola to ever be.
Sarah's face scrunches up in thought and she runs her hand through her hair.
"I wanna say...Freddie?"
Cheryl rolls her eyes.
"There isn't one called Freddie, babes."
"Well I don't know their bloody names, do I? They all kind of blend into one," Sarah protests. She glances at the two untouched shots in front of Kimberley. "You gonna drink those?"
Kim lifts the glasses and places them out of Sarah's reach.
"No, and neither are you. And how can you not know their names, Sarah? We toured with them for bloody months!" she admonishes.
Sarah bumps Kimberley's shoulder affectionately.
"Oh Kimba, some of us don't give a toss what the warm-up act's names are."
"Support act," Kimberley corrects.
"D'you mean, 'Frankie', pet?" Cheryl askes, hiding a smirk at Sarah and Kimberley's exchange. Kimberley's been like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs all night, ever since Sarah proceeded to get monumentally plastered directly after their performance.
"Is she the one with the boy hair-cut?" Sarah asks.
"Listen to who's talking?" Kimberley mutters, playing with the short hairs at the nape of Sarah's neck.
"Well it was her then," Sarah affirms, leaning past Kimberley and swiping one of the shot glasses before she can be stopped.
"Where's Nadine?" Kimberley enquires, after yanking the glass out of Sarah's hand and downing it herself.
"Is she snogging one of the Saturdays too?" Nicola asks, then sniggers. Because when Nicola's drunk she finds everything about a hundred and ten percent funnier than when she's sober.
"Nah, she's at the loo," Sarah says. Her eyes go wide as she remembers something. "Fuck! I forgot to go to the toilet, I'm dying for a piss!"
"I'm goin' in a minute, you can come with me," Nicola offers and Kimberley tries not to sigh, because Sarah and Nicola should not be allowed to be drunk together in public.
"So, did you snog her back?" Cheryl asks.
Sarah shrugs.
"A bit. Was a nice change of pace from having Kimba's tongue down my throat, eh Kimba?" she says, nudging Kimberley quite painfully.
"Jesus, you get pissed and snog your mates a couple of times and they never let you live it down! I haven't done that in ages, Sarah," Kimberley says, wearily.
"True," Sarah says. She gets a glint in her eye and leans in conspiratorily again. "So, if you were gonna do a girl, properly like, who would it be?"
"I wouldn't," Nicola says, shaking her head firmly, an expression of mild disgust crossing her face.
Sarah rolls her eyes.
"OK, so everyone who isn't Ms Prude in the corner here, who would you do?"
"Who would you do?" Cheryl asks, turning Sarah's question back on her, her voice carrying a defensive edge.
"Nadine," Sarah says, without having to think about it.
"Eh?" Nicola says, suddenly interested in the conversation again.
"Nadine?" Kimberley asks. "Out of every girl in the world, you'd pick Nadine? Why?"
Cheryl remains silent but her cheeks are flushed and she's picking at the label on an empty bottle.
"Uh, hello? Two words. Well. Endowed." Sarah says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Then she holds her hand up and wiggles her fingers.
"Ew!" Nicola says.
"Ah!" Kimberley says, nodding.
Cheryl says nothing.
"I don't suppose it's exactly the same principle though, is it?" Kimberley continues. "I mean...she could do some damage with those things." She shifts uncomfortably in her seat at the thought.
"What do you think, Chezza?" Sarah prompts her unusually quiet bandmate. "Too long?"
Cheryl looks up quickly.
"What you askin' me for? How should I know? It's not like I'm a bloody expert on Nadine's fingers!"
Her unexpected outburst silences the other three and they stare at her in confusion. Then Kimberley's hand flies to cover her mouth.
"Oh my God!"
Cheryl meets her eyes and shakes her head slightly.
"What?" Sarah and Nicola say in unison.
"You...you haven't..." Kimberley asks.
"Haven't what?" Nicola asks even as Sarah starts to grin.
Cheryl takes a long drink from her glass to buy some time, but before she can confirm or deny any of their thoughts, Nadine appears at the end of the booth.
"Feckin' VVIP room my arse. The bloody hand-dryers in the toilet are all broken, can you believe it?" she rants, indignantly. She holds up both hands. "My fingers are soakin' wet, so they are!"
Cheryl's drink comes out of her nose.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-07-21 09:51 pm (UTC)This was absolutely hilarious. I may come back with more coherent thoughts later but for the moment I'm too busy wetting myself with laughter.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-22 06:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-21 11:24 pm (UTC)I've really missed GA RPS and this was awesome as usual.
Loved Kimberly's possessive flirtyness with Sarah, the way they all talk to each other (you do the voices so well).
If i'm going to read RPFiction I'd rather read about them getting along and hanging out than rumors of impending death/divorce/splitting up. They need to publish this in the daily mail.
Loved it. Thank you!
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Date: 2009-07-22 07:02 am (UTC)Sarah and Kimberley's interactions are mostly based on THIS PICTURE from that night.
They need to publish this in the daily mail. - HEE!
no subject
Date: 2009-07-21 11:43 pm (UTC)BRB IF I EVER STOP LOLING.
Um, you may have converted me to GA RPF?
no subject
Date: 2009-07-22 07:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-23 01:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-23 07:02 pm (UTC)'Tis the season - Set just after their Christmas #1 is announced.
Cheryl/Nadine Alphabetsoup - 26 drabbles set at various points from the announcement of the band through to Cheryl's wedding
Is it just the margaritas talking? - A drabble written for an 'alcohol' challenge.
Overexposed - A drabble based on this clip
A couple of drabbles - Prompted by conversations with me about how Cheryl and Nadine are so doing it.
ETA: My own two...
What is the use in what I say? - Cheryl phones Nadine late one night. Angsty.
A hard day's night - Kimberley plays peacemaker in an argument. Silly and fluffy.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-22 07:03 am (UTC)*cringes*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 02:11 am (UTC)Firstly you know that I need to get my defense of Nicola out of the way so let's just consider that done shall we?????
Other than that it was v fun - for some reason the idea of drink coming out of Cheryl's nose is v v amusing to me.
I have to admit that I had never really noticed that about Nadine's fingers - does that make me a bad fangirl?
Ok so while I would normally gush about all my fav bits I have a much more pressing issue - have realised from looking at some of your GA posts and from reading the fics that you recced to me that I have no idea what is going on in the world of the girls. It may have escaped your notice but I have a bit of a thing about violating cannon so I need updates on real life events so that I can get to work ficcing. You'll be pleased to know that I do feel inspired (would feel even more inspired if you'd do Liv fic :) )
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 08:26 am (UTC)I have to admit that I had never really noticed that about Nadine's fingers - does that make me a bad fangirl? - Yes, yes it does. Kidding. I noticed during one of the early tour dvds that Nadine's hand almost seemed to wrap around the mic twice. Since then I have had an unhealthy obsession with her hands. (Also, if you watch the bit in P:TR when Davina is announcing who's in the band, when Nadine gets in she puts her hand across her mouth and you can see how long her fingers are there.)
OK, RL updates I can do. How far back are we going?
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 11:24 am (UTC)I have to admit that I had never really noticed that about Nadine's fingers - does that make me a bad fangirl? - Yes, yes it does. Kidding Well I do have a tendency to fail to notice things ;). I will check out your unhealthy obession when I am not at work!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-08 04:48 pm (UTC)Hmmm, I'm not sure there's anything else you'll want to read. As mentioned, I haven't written much this year and what I have written is mostly Skins or Gossip Girl RPF. Of course, if you get into the Skins fandom you can read the Skins ones ;)
I will check out your unhealthy obession when I am not at work! - LOL! The link isn't pornographic or anything. Just me being silly with screencaps from the Tangled Up tour.
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Date: 2009-08-09 12:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-16 09:02 pm (UTC)I love your Cheryl/Nadine fics, they’re always amazingly brilliant.
But which actually turned out to be more about Sarah being a raging alcoholic
Nothing wrong with that. Makes it canon I guess. >.<
but got distracted by the bar on the way.
I love Sarah in this, she’s hilarious. I also loved the bit about the Saturdays.
"Uh, hello? Two words. Well. Endowed." Sarah says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Then she holds her hand up and wiggles her fingers.
That actually made me laugh out loud because I could still see that animation at the top of the page PMSL.
You should write more Cheryl/Nadine, you’re so good at writing their characters! *hint hint*
Loved it. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-08-17 08:26 pm (UTC)Makes it canon I guess. - Poor Sarah.
You should write more Cheryl/Nadine - I actually had the urge today to go back and look at one I've got in the works, but I cannot find the data-stick that it's on for the life of me. (This is quite worrying because it's one that has a lot of incriminating stuff on it and I wouldn't want it falling into the wrong hands.)
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Date: 2009-08-22 06:20 pm (UTC)You have their voices down to a 't', and everything from the title to the dialogue is simply perfect (your dialogues are always awesome). Seriously, I want to marry this fic and have its babies. Or...something.
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Date: 2009-08-22 10:50 pm (UTC)BTW, there were three Cheryl/Nadine fics on my friends page tonight. Both
no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 05:31 am (UTC)