![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thegirl20Title: Par-tay!
Fandom: WMC, SVU, FoL, MiS, WtD, McLeod's Daughters (Damn MD for not having a three-letter acronym!)
Pairing(s): Various pairings. And a special guest star.
A/N: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lysachan's birthday. Unfortunately life got in the way yesterday and I didn't get to post this. So...
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYlysachan!!!
Oh, and this is pure silliness. Please excuse it.
Ash allowed her eyes to survey the room. She nodded, pleased that the party preparations seemed to be going according to schedule.
The band had arrived punctually and had completed their sound-check satisfactorily. Although, the lead singer hadn’t seemed too pleased when Ash told her that her tin-whistle playing had been out of synch with the rest of the band. They were currently lounging on a couch, pouting prettily at passers-by. Except the bloke, who appeared to have been relegated to the periphery of the action.
Ash turned her attention to the rest of the preparations. The room was looking splendid, decked out in green streamers and shamrocks, which Ash didn’t particularly approve of, favouring more subtle decorations. But the others had insisted. And some of them had guns.
A mobile chirped and the Texan detective with the smoky voice flipped open her phone. Ash eavesdropped, just in case it had something to do with the party.
“Cindy, hey! Uh…a party? Tonight? No…no, I think it’s tomorrow. Yeah, it’s tomorrow. Uh huh. I’ll see you there, lookin’ forward to it. Buh-bye now.”
She closed the phone and rolled her eyes at the platinum blonde wearing a shirt that was far too large for her. And which showed more cleavage than was strictly necessary, Ash felt.
”That was close.”
“I feel bad for her.”
“Look, Jill, this is a delicate time…the guest of honour has only just decided that she likes us the best. Having Cindy around too often just confuses things.”
Ash moved on. She had no time for these people who had more than one choice of partner. It just led to messiness.
The New Yorkers were in charge of food and drink. Jo and Blair had spent most of their time arguing over the hors d'oeuvres. Jo wanted pigs in blankets and Blair wanted caviar. Ash had to agree that caviar was classier. But she refrained from getting involved. Jo had unceremoniously told her to ‘butt out’ the last time she’d offered a suggestion.
Alex and Olivia were meant to be helping with the food but they…well…weren’t. They were engaged in a hushed discussion which Ash had to strain to overhear.
“Go and ask her.”
“For the last time, Alex, I’m not going to go over to some woman and say ‘Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?’ She’s gonna think I’m coming onto her.”
“I’m not suggesting you do that, Olivia. Just ask her if she’s related to her.”
“Yeah, coz ‘Hey, you look a lot like my ex-girlfriend, are you related?’ is much better.”
Alex’s expression froze.
“You dated Abbie?”
“Uh…probably ‘dated’ isn’t the word.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed and Ash quickly moved on, opening the kitchen door and peering in. Scribbs lifted her head from her task, she had flour on one cheek and a stripe of pink frosting on the other. Had time not been a factor, Ash would’ve taken a moment to drink in the adorability of her partner.
“Cake ready?”
“Nearly.”
Ash looked around the room.
“Where are Frankie and Mel? I thought they were helping you?”
“They buggered off ages ago, that shouty bloke phoned Mel with some ‘urgent case’ that they had to work on,” Scribbs scoffed. “Yeah right, an ‘urgent’ murder than happened 20 years ago. My arse. They just didn’t want to help.”
Ash’s lips thinned. She’d have to report Frankie and Mel for their slovenliness. It just wouldn’t do. And they were Brits as well, really showing up the home side.
“Fine. Just bring through what you’ve done.”
Ash headed back into the living room just as the doorbell rang. She peered through the peephole to ascertain that the birthday girl hadn’t arrived early, but instead found two people wearing cowboy hats. She yanked the door open.
“Hello? Can I help you?”
The shorter, blonde one grinned widely and thrust an invitation at Ash.
“We’re Tess and Claire McLeod. We were a late addition to the guest list.”
“Oh, how lovely, are you married?” Ash asked, standing aside to let them enter.
“Sisters,” the tall dark one answered, hooking her thumb into the back of her sister’s jeans and adopting an expression which invited a challenge. The little one gazed up at her, adoringly. Everyone else in the room shifted uncomfortably.
“Claire’s not a big talker,” Tess explained. “And we’re half-sisters.”
Some of the law-enforcers gathered in a corner to debate the legality of Australian, half-sibling, incestuous, lesbian relationships. Having no clue about Australian law they decided to leave it be. Plus, the Claire one looked like she could handle herself in a fight. And she had a rifle resting on her shoulder.
“Well, quite,” Ash said, more than a little disturbed by the easy closeness of the newcomers. She turned her attention to the rest of the room.
“OK, we have five minutes until she’s due here. The band’s in place. the food is…diverse, but ready. The cake is done…Scribbs, you’ve missed out the ‘H’ in ‘birthday’.”
“Bugger!” Scribbs exclaimed, hurriedly adding in a very small ‘h’ with the remainder of the frosting.
“And we have the present.”
“Mmmmmmph!”
Everyone turned to look at the suspiciously person-shaped gift wrapped in pretty paper with a bow tied around the middle.
Jo leaned close to Blair and whispered in her ear.
“What’d we get her again?”
“Paget Brewster,” Blair whispered back.
“Oh yeah, cool.”
“OK, so now we just need to wait for her arrival. Turn the lights out and get into your positions everyone,” Ash instructed.
*****
Some time later…
The lights came on. Everyone blinked in the sudden brightness and managed to focus on a very pissed-off looking Jo.
“OK, whose job was it to invitelysachan?”
All eyes turned to Ash. Ash’s mouth dropped open.
“Shit!”
*****
Even later…
The party was in full swing despite the non-attendance of the birthday girl.
Ash was still mortified about the faux-pas and was eating cake and being comforted by Scribbs. Blair and Jo were sitting nearby, making the odd comment to add to Ash’s embarrassment.
Speaking of embarrassment, Claire and Tess were sitting inappropriately close to each other, and staring into each other’s eyes. Everyone else was studiously avoiding looking at them.
Jill was wearing Alex’s glasses and Alex was nodding approvingly, and providing helpful courtroom tips.
Lindsay and Olivia were sitting at a table drinking whiskey and discussing past traumas. And crying. Obviously.
And in the corner, a little person-shaped birthday present sat, still wrapped and all alone. But someone had attached a large sticker.
“PRIORITY AIR MAIL TO FINLAND”
THE END.
Disclaimer: Paget Brewster was not harmed in the making of this fic. She was given a Twix for her inconvenience.
Fandom: WMC, SVU, FoL, MiS, WtD, McLeod's Daughters (Damn MD for not having a three-letter acronym!)
Pairing(s): Various pairings. And a special guest star.
A/N: Written for
lysachan's birthday. Unfortunately life got in the way yesterday and I didn't get to post this. So...HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY
lysachan!!!Oh, and this is pure silliness. Please excuse it.
Ash allowed her eyes to survey the room. She nodded, pleased that the party preparations seemed to be going according to schedule.
The band had arrived punctually and had completed their sound-check satisfactorily. Although, the lead singer hadn’t seemed too pleased when Ash told her that her tin-whistle playing had been out of synch with the rest of the band. They were currently lounging on a couch, pouting prettily at passers-by. Except the bloke, who appeared to have been relegated to the periphery of the action.
Ash turned her attention to the rest of the preparations. The room was looking splendid, decked out in green streamers and shamrocks, which Ash didn’t particularly approve of, favouring more subtle decorations. But the others had insisted. And some of them had guns.
A mobile chirped and the Texan detective with the smoky voice flipped open her phone. Ash eavesdropped, just in case it had something to do with the party.
“Cindy, hey! Uh…a party? Tonight? No…no, I think it’s tomorrow. Yeah, it’s tomorrow. Uh huh. I’ll see you there, lookin’ forward to it. Buh-bye now.”
She closed the phone and rolled her eyes at the platinum blonde wearing a shirt that was far too large for her. And which showed more cleavage than was strictly necessary, Ash felt.
”That was close.”
“I feel bad for her.”
“Look, Jill, this is a delicate time…the guest of honour has only just decided that she likes us the best. Having Cindy around too often just confuses things.”
Ash moved on. She had no time for these people who had more than one choice of partner. It just led to messiness.
The New Yorkers were in charge of food and drink. Jo and Blair had spent most of their time arguing over the hors d'oeuvres. Jo wanted pigs in blankets and Blair wanted caviar. Ash had to agree that caviar was classier. But she refrained from getting involved. Jo had unceremoniously told her to ‘butt out’ the last time she’d offered a suggestion.
Alex and Olivia were meant to be helping with the food but they…well…weren’t. They were engaged in a hushed discussion which Ash had to strain to overhear.
“Go and ask her.”
“For the last time, Alex, I’m not going to go over to some woman and say ‘Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?’ She’s gonna think I’m coming onto her.”
“I’m not suggesting you do that, Olivia. Just ask her if she’s related to her.”
“Yeah, coz ‘Hey, you look a lot like my ex-girlfriend, are you related?’ is much better.”
Alex’s expression froze.
“You dated Abbie?”
“Uh…probably ‘dated’ isn’t the word.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed and Ash quickly moved on, opening the kitchen door and peering in. Scribbs lifted her head from her task, she had flour on one cheek and a stripe of pink frosting on the other. Had time not been a factor, Ash would’ve taken a moment to drink in the adorability of her partner.
“Cake ready?”
“Nearly.”
Ash looked around the room.
“Where are Frankie and Mel? I thought they were helping you?”
“They buggered off ages ago, that shouty bloke phoned Mel with some ‘urgent case’ that they had to work on,” Scribbs scoffed. “Yeah right, an ‘urgent’ murder than happened 20 years ago. My arse. They just didn’t want to help.”
Ash’s lips thinned. She’d have to report Frankie and Mel for their slovenliness. It just wouldn’t do. And they were Brits as well, really showing up the home side.
“Fine. Just bring through what you’ve done.”
Ash headed back into the living room just as the doorbell rang. She peered through the peephole to ascertain that the birthday girl hadn’t arrived early, but instead found two people wearing cowboy hats. She yanked the door open.
“Hello? Can I help you?”
The shorter, blonde one grinned widely and thrust an invitation at Ash.
“We’re Tess and Claire McLeod. We were a late addition to the guest list.”
“Oh, how lovely, are you married?” Ash asked, standing aside to let them enter.
“Sisters,” the tall dark one answered, hooking her thumb into the back of her sister’s jeans and adopting an expression which invited a challenge. The little one gazed up at her, adoringly. Everyone else in the room shifted uncomfortably.
“Claire’s not a big talker,” Tess explained. “And we’re half-sisters.”
Some of the law-enforcers gathered in a corner to debate the legality of Australian, half-sibling, incestuous, lesbian relationships. Having no clue about Australian law they decided to leave it be. Plus, the Claire one looked like she could handle herself in a fight. And she had a rifle resting on her shoulder.
“Well, quite,” Ash said, more than a little disturbed by the easy closeness of the newcomers. She turned her attention to the rest of the room.
“OK, we have five minutes until she’s due here. The band’s in place. the food is…diverse, but ready. The cake is done…Scribbs, you’ve missed out the ‘H’ in ‘birthday’.”
“Bugger!” Scribbs exclaimed, hurriedly adding in a very small ‘h’ with the remainder of the frosting.
“And we have the present.”
“Mmmmmmph!”
Everyone turned to look at the suspiciously person-shaped gift wrapped in pretty paper with a bow tied around the middle.
Jo leaned close to Blair and whispered in her ear.
“What’d we get her again?”
“Paget Brewster,” Blair whispered back.
“Oh yeah, cool.”
“OK, so now we just need to wait for her arrival. Turn the lights out and get into your positions everyone,” Ash instructed.
*****
Some time later…
The lights came on. Everyone blinked in the sudden brightness and managed to focus on a very pissed-off looking Jo.
“OK, whose job was it to invite
lysachan?”All eyes turned to Ash. Ash’s mouth dropped open.
“Shit!”
*****
Even later…
The party was in full swing despite the non-attendance of the birthday girl.
Ash was still mortified about the faux-pas and was eating cake and being comforted by Scribbs. Blair and Jo were sitting nearby, making the odd comment to add to Ash’s embarrassment.
Speaking of embarrassment, Claire and Tess were sitting inappropriately close to each other, and staring into each other’s eyes. Everyone else was studiously avoiding looking at them.
Jill was wearing Alex’s glasses and Alex was nodding approvingly, and providing helpful courtroom tips.
Lindsay and Olivia were sitting at a table drinking whiskey and discussing past traumas. And crying. Obviously.
And in the corner, a little person-shaped birthday present sat, still wrapped and all alone. But someone had attached a large sticker.
“PRIORITY AIR MAIL TO FINLAND”
THE END.
Disclaimer: Paget Brewster was not harmed in the making of this fic. She was given a Twix for her inconvenience.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 08:22 pm (UTC)I was wondering what WtD means, thankfully, I recognized the characters :)
And yay for Claire and Tess, despite the sisterly relationship...
hmmm, where does one find Mcleod's Daughters fics?
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:26 pm (UTC)Normally I would've written out 'Waking the Dead' in full, but I was having so much fun with the abbreviations that I didn't ;)
I'm not sure that McLeod's Daughters fic exists outside of places like Fanfiction.net. The quality is, of course, varied.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 08:35 pm (UTC)...
And wrong ... all over.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:27 pm (UTC)Fuzzy. Check.
Wrong. Check.
Mission accomplished.
;)
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:26 pm (UTC)This was...was...incredibly brilliant! I laughed like crazy and squeed out loud while reading. The appearance of Claire & Tess made me inappropriately giddy. And oh, poor Ash <3
I'm insanely touched by this. Thank you so much! You're fantastic. ♥
*waits for Paget to arrive in the mail*
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:37 pm (UTC)You're very welcome.
I'm glad it made you laugh. It was just a little bit of madness that occurred to me and wouldn't go away :)
(BTW, I think they had a little bit of trouble fitting Paget into the postbox...there may be a lawsuit pending)
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 11:49 pm (UTC)Very fun! :-)
no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 10:05 pm (UTC)Glad you liked the madness!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 09:14 am (UTC)Especially this bit - They buggered off ages ago, that shouty bloke phoned Mel with some ‘urgent case’ that they had to work on,”
I also like you got your Abbie reference in :)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 09:44 pm (UTC)