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thegirl20Title: Where the lovelight gleams - Part 1
Fandom: Gossip Girl RPF
Pairing: Blake Lively/Leighton Meester
Challenge: The![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
bleighton_squee Holiday Fic Exchange
Recipient:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cannonball_312
Word Count: 12,065
Rating: R
Prompt: the ever-supportive GG cast and their wonderfuly ridiculous schemes, holiday traditions, any family tradition (Meester or Lively), a vacation in Europe, Christmas!fic, witty movie and TV mentions/references, Penn out of the way, B and L in denial of their feelings, lots of dirty talking, Ed being snarky, and anything that Showtime would have wanted to make (something with a rating higher than R would be nice). also any cracktastic! AU would be much, much appreciated. also, if somebody wants to make it, i'd like to see a drag racing Blake ala The Fast and the Furious.
A/N: I tried my hardest to get most of the elements of the prompt in here (But no trip to Europe and no 'The Fast and the Furious'...sorry!)
Blake was lounging on the couch in her trailer, watching sadly as Penn threw some t-shirts and books into a bag. She played with a piece of thread on one of the throw pillows and nibbled at a loose piece of skin at the side of her left thumbnail. He glanced over at her and sighed.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
She took her hand away from her mouth.
“Like what?” she asked, unaware that she’d even been looking at him.
“Like I’m the Grinch who stole Christmas,” he said with a wry smile.
“I’m not looking at you like anything!” Blake protested.
“Uh huh,” Penn agreed, without really agreeing, and turned back to his task.
Blake watched him for a few seconds before feeling the need to elaborate.
“It’s just…you know…it kinda sucks that you’re gonna miss the Christmas party. I hear Ed’s gonna dress up like a fairy,” she said, as if this may somehow entice him to abandon his flight to LA and stay for the party.
“You mean more than he already does?” Penn asked.
Blake laughed softly. He stopped packing and moved over to sit by her bare feet on the couch.
“You know that when Grandma Badgley beckons, we all must obey. If I didn’t turn up at her soiree I’d be disinherited for sure. And she’s pretty much got all the money in the family so I need to keep on her good side,” he said, seriously.
She punched him on the shoulder.
“Don’t say things like that about your Grandma! She’s an amazing person!”
“I know, I know, I’m kidding,” he conceded. His smile faded somewhat before he continued. “And…uh…I have the onerous task of telling her that you’re not going to be her granddaughter-in-law like she’s been hinting at for the past year.”
Her eyes dropped to the floor and silence descended heavily.
“Well…that was a mood-killer, huh?” he said, squeezing Blake’s big toe until she smiled and wriggled out of his grasp.
She looked up at him, her eyes bright.
“We did the right thing, didn’t we?”
He was quiet for longer than he should have been. Because he wanted to say no. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and smother her face with kisses and tell her that it had all been a terrible mistake and that they must never be parted for even a second for the rest of their lives.
Instead he smiled and said what she wanted him to say.
“Of course we did. We know we did.”
And he did know that they’d done the right thing. He knew that he was not her forever, even though he had desperately tried to be. He knew he couldn’t have held onto her for much longer without her becoming bored or resentful. So he’d been the nice guy and ended it amicably before things got to a point where they couldn’t salvage their friendship. And of all the regrets he might have had, that would’ve been one he’d never have let go of.
She nodded in confirmation and he fought down the ache that seemed to start in his stomach and rise up his throat. He coughed and stood up, moving back to his bag to close it. He continued when he was sure his voice wouldn’t waver.
“I’m sure the party will be a blast. Jessica’s already mixed up something potent to spike the punch with. Matthew will be trying to get all the girls to sit on his lap. And Ed will almost definitely have mistletoe dangling from his fly…you won’t even notice I’m not there.”
“Yes I will,” she said, her bottom lip protruding slightly in a way that always made him want to bite it.
He allowed himself a brief moment of egotism, believing that she might actually miss him a little at the party. Then he shook his head.
“You’ll survive. Anyway, I’ll see you when you get to LA, right? We’ll go to a movie or something in the lull between Christmas and New Years.”
“That’d be cool,” she said, quietly.
He rolled his eyes.
“I suppose we better get this goodbye over with already, so come on over here and give me a hug.”
He opened his arms and she stepped into his embrace. He held her tightly, closing his eyes and burying his nose in her hair, the familiar scent increasing his melancholy tenfold. He squeezed her one last time before stepping back.
“OK, I’m outta here,” he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth quickly so that the emotion in his throat wouldn’t shine through. “So have fun at the party and have a great flight home and tell your family ‘Happy Christmas’ from me and do-“
She stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek, stopping him in mid-babble.
“You have a great Christmas,” she whispered. “You’ll have your trailer all to yourself when you get back.”
“You don’t have to…”
“Yeah…yeah I do.”
He nodded.
“Well, I’ll miss having a zillion beauty products scattered all over the place, that’s for sure.”
They both smiled. He looked up at her.
“Where will you…”
“Back to Leighton’s…”
“Oh…sure…right.”
He shouldn’t have asked. He didn’t need to. Apparently he’d developed some kind of masochistic streak lately. He nodded, needlessly, and turned to leave. He knew she was watching him go but he willed himself not to look back.
Because he knew that while she’d look sad, she’d never look at him the way he’d seen her look at Leighton. And that was the whole problem. He knew he wasn’t her forever …but he was pretty sure that her forever wasn’t a million miles away. He just didn’t know if Blake knew that.
*
Leighton whirled around her trailer picking things up and putting them back down again in the same place. It was already immaculately tidy, but for some reason she felt restless and needed to do something with her hands. It was almost like she was nervous. She giggled a little to herself at the thought. She was nervous that Blake was bringing her stuff over and moving back in. Blake, a girl she spent 16 hours a day with, with whom she had already shared a trailer.
When they’d shared in the beginning it had been great. They were just getting to know each other and everything was new and exciting. They had laughed and sung and danced around like teenagers. And at some point during all of the fun, Leighton had fallen in love with Blake.
From there things started to get a little more complicated. Leighton found herself withdrawing. Holding back if Blake hugged her and tensing when Blake took her hand. She knew Blake knew something was up, but neither of them ever addressed it. Leighton entertained fantasies that one day Blake would throw open the door to the trailer and declare her undying love for her. It never happened. The one time Blake said she had something important to tell her, it was to inform her that she and Penn had started dating and that she would be moving into his trailer.
Leighton had always scoffed at the metaphors used by romantic novelists to describe the pain of unrequited love. But watching Blake walk away with a bag slung carelessly over her shoulder that day had given her a new appreciation for the overly dramatic. Punched in the gut. Knifed in the chest. Still beating heart ripped out and trampled all over. All of the above. And all of it with a smile on her face.
She liked Penn, though. And she couldn’t bring herself to think of him as her romantic rival. It wasn’t his fault. And it wasn’t Blake’s either. Leighton hadn’t taken the opportunity to explore the possibility of any kind of relationship with Blake and now she was too late. She accepted her role with grace, and started to give herself back to her friendship with Blake. Even if the touches and hugs brought her more pain than pleasure.
And now Blake had broken up with Penn. Or, apparently, the other way around. Leighton couldn’t quite comprehend what would possess anyone to break up with Blake. And Penn had always seemed to be so into her. Far more than she had been into him. Leighton had always taken comfort in the fact that Blake was at least as affectionate with her as she was with Penn. Well, obviously with less open-mouthed kissing in the sea in Mexico or whatever. But still, Penn never seemed to be able to hold Blake’s attention.
Maybe he’d gotten bored of waiting for her to fall in love with him? Leighton could appreciate that. She’d never been one to give herself quickly, or show her hand early in a relationship and that frustrated people. Blake had taken her by surprise and got into her heart before she’d had time to close it off.
She was torn about Blake coming back. Part of her was elated that she’d have her friend back all to herself. That she’d become Blake’s favourite person on the set again. But part of her was resentful that Blake had turned up on her doorstep one day with her big, sad, puppy-eyes and announced that she’d be moving back in, expecting that to be fine with Leighton. Which it was. But it might not have been. Why should Leighton be waiting around, ready to pick up the pieces of Blake’s relationships? Why should Leighton have to squeeze her stuff into half a trailer again? Why should Leighton settle for being the rebound friend?
The answer was simple; because it was Blake.
She looked around and decided that any further tidying would actually lead to the place being less tidy. She walked into the kitchen area, stretched up and brought down a bottle of red wine. She took out two glasses and poured a generous amount of wine into each. She left one sitting on the counter and took a long swig from the other.
A shuffling sound from outside led her to the window, still cradling her glass, where she saw Blake approaching. She had a huge duffle bag slung over her shoulder, a box under her arm and a vanity case in her hand. Leighton smiled even as her heart started speeding up. She walked to the door, inhaled deeply, and opened it.
Blake came to a halt at the bottom of the steps and looked up at Leighton, a smile spreading across her face.
“Hey Roomie,” Blake said.
“Welcome back,” Leighton said, reaching out to take the vanity case and holding the door open for Blake to squeeze through with the rest of her belongings. She turned around to find Blake’s stuff deposited in the middle of her previously immaculate space. Blake had spotted the glass of wine and was on her way to get it. She moved back towards Leighton and held up her glass in a toast.
“To singledom!” she announced, before clinking her glass against Leighton’s, causing some of the liquid to slop over the side and run down her hand. She shifted the glass to her other hand before licking away the stripe of russet staining her skin. Leighton watched, fascinated, before echoing Blake’s toast.
“To singledom,” she said, with slightly less fervour than Blake, before taking a long drink, almost draining the glass.
Blake closed her eyes and moaned.
“God that’s good” she said, licking her lips. “Penn never once had a glass of wine waiting for me when I got in.”
Leighton hesitated, not really wanting to get into a discussion about Blake’s relationship with Penn.
“Yeah, well…don’t get used to it,” she said, her mouth curling up at one side despite her attempt to remain serious.
Without warning, Blake threw an arm around her shoulders and squeezed Leighton tightly against her side and kissed the top of her head.
“I missed this…you…I missed you,” Blake mumbled into her hair.
Leighton’s throat tightened at the words. She marvelled at how easily they came to Blake, how easily they tumbled from her mouth. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Blake’s waist, muttering ‘me too’ against her shoulder.
Blake pulled back gently and looked down at Leighton, smiling softly. Leighton smiled back, the wine she had gulped down making her face feel warm and her lips tingle. The part of her brain that secretly loved romantic clichés was screaming ‘Kiss her!’
Then the door to the trailer burst open and the moment was broken as Chace and Jessica barrelled in arguing about something or other. Leighton literally jumped away from Blake, as if they had been involved in a far more intimate clinch. Blake looked at her quizzically but Leighton focussed on the newcomers.
“Uh, has knocking gone out of fashion, guys? I could’ve been doing anything!” she said, sternly.
Chace and Jessica stopped bickering long enough to take in the occupants of the trailer. Both looked surprised to see Blake.
“Sorry Lei… you’re just usually on your own…reading or something,” Chace said, apologetically.
“Could you make me sound any lamer?” Leighton muttered.
“Look, if you guys are doing something we can come back…” Jessica suggested, tugging on Chace’s arm and heading back to the door.
“No, it’s cool,” Blake said, smiling easily, “I was just moving my stuff back in is all.”
Jessica stopped pulling Chace to the door and they both nodded, silently acknowledging the awkward reason for the move.
“So, was there a reason for your visit or is it just a routine invasion of my privacy?” Leighton asked, wearily.
Chace and Jessica looked at her. Jessica elbowed Chace.
“Oh, right…well…we, uh…we have this scene coming up where we have to…you know, do stuff…and it’s…well it’s not going so well.”
Leighton looked to Jessica for an explanation. Jessica rolled her eyes.
“We have a sex scene to film and we disagree on the best way to do it…Chace said that you were always really good at coming up with blocking for this kind of stuff so we thought we’d come and ask your opinion.”
Leighton raised an eyebrow. Coming to ask for acting tips wasn’t something she would have expected from Jess. Chace, she had worked with a number of times on different scenes and he had no qualms about coming to ask her opinion. But Jessica had always seemed pretty sure of her work. Something felt off about this.
“Look, d’you want me to go…if you’re gonna work on a scene…” Blake asked Jessica.
“Hey, no. It’d be cool to get your thoughts too,” Chace said, putting his hand on Blake’s shoulder, stopping her from moving away.
Leighton dropped down onto the couch, Blake plopping down beside her a second later.
“OK, show us what you got,” Leighton said, gesturing for them to act.
“OK, so this is the first time that Nate and Vanessa have sex,” Jessica said, setting the scene. “So it’s all about getting to the fade-to-black point and it should be really hot…but it kinda feels really forced…right?”
She nudged Chace.
”Right. Forced,” he said, nodding.
Blake was nodding along, sympathetically but Leighton was becoming more suspicious by the minute. Something was not right.
“So…are you gonna do the scene or what?” she asked, a little snippily.
Jessica turned to Chace and raised her eyebrows.
“Action!” Blake shouted, clapping her hands together once.
Jessica gave a tiny eye-roll that made Leighton smirk, but she then moved into character. She dipped her head a little and looked up at Chace through her eyelashes.
“So…your Mom’s away for the weekend?” she asked.
“She’s visiting my grandparents. Trying to build some bridges,” Chace said, shoving his hands into his pockets. Leighton frowned.
“So…” Jessica said, tilting her head to the side.
“So…” Chace’s hands remained in his pockets, and there was still three feet of space between them.
“Wait!” Leighton called, standing up and approaching them, yanking Chace’s hand out of his jeans and pulling Jessica forward. “Personal space is not required at this point, people…”
Jessica sighed.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with us…it’s just not working in my head,” she looked at Leighton out of the side of her eye, “Maybe if we were to…see it…you know, from another angle.”
“Oh…well, I suppose I could…”
Leighton turned to Chace and draped herself around his shoulders. He quickly removed her and held her at arm’s length.
“I’d kinda like to see it too,” he looked around the room, as if searching for something.
His eyes landed on Blake and his face lit up. And Leighton’s heart sank. That was what was wrong, the whole thing was a total set-up. Most of the cast had, at some point, teased Leighton good-naturedly about her crush on Blake. But now, it looked like they might have stepped it up to actual match-making. She was drawn out of her thoughts by Chace continuing to speak.
“Maybe you could do it with Blake…you know, so we could both see it!”
He was trying so hard to look like this idea had just occurred to him. But, though the boy was blessed with the face of a god, his acting abilities were somewhat less celestial. Leighton could see Jessica cringe slightly at Chace’s over-exuberance.
“No, I do-“
“Sure, we can do that, right Leight?” Blake interrupted, standing up and stalking across the small space so that she was standing right next to Leighton. She reached out and snagged Jessica’s script, scanning over it before handing it to Leighton.
Leighton looked at Blake for a long moment before turning her eyes to the script. Her heart was thumping in her chest and she was inordinately angry with the two people currently occupying her couch and looking up at her eagerly. But she was a professional. And if they wanted an acting lesson, they’d fucking get one.
She dropped the script onto the floor and turned to face Blake.
“You’re Nate. Ready?”
“Why am I the boy?” Blake whined, pouting a little when Chace and Jess both laughed at her question.
Leighton quirked an eyebrow at Blake and she relented with a small huff. Leighton turned back to Chace and Jessica.
“The dialogue’s lame, but it’s not about the words…it’s what you’re doing while you say them that’s gonna clinch it.”
She was well aware that she was being condescending, she could see Jessica bristle at her words, but they had asked for it. She turned back to Blake. She reached out and ran a hand down Blake’s forearm, fingertips barely brushing her skin. When she reached her hand, she linked their fingers loosely together and swung them gently, keeping her eyes locked with Blake’s the whole time.
“So…your Mom’s away for the weekend?”
Her voice was low, bordering on sultry, but it held the tiniest crack of insecurity. Blake reached up to sweep a strand of hair behind one of Leighton’s ears, letting her fingers brush against her neck in the process.
“She’s visiting my grandparents. Trying to build some bridges,” Blake said with a little shrug. She tightened the hold she had on Leighton’s hand, smiling gently.
Leighton finally broke eye-contact, looking down and letting her hair fall over her face as she laughed nervously. She looked back up, her eyes serious as she searched Blake’s face.
“So…?” she whispered, giving the word a questioning inflection.
Blake let go of Leighton’s hand and rested her own hands at the base of Leighton’s spine, drawing her in so that their torsos were touching, their lips inches apart. Leighton’s breath was coming fast as her eyes flicked to Blake’s lips.
“So,” Blake said, assuredly, her nose brushing Leighton’s. Leighton’s eyes closed as Blake Eskimo kissed her softly. She opened them again when Blake drew back and turned to Jessica and Chace.
“So, was that what you had in mind?” Blake asked, innocently.
Chace was gaping at them and Jessica looked uncomfortable.
“Maybe we could see it one more ti-,“ Chace started to say.
“No, I think that was perfect, thanks guys,” Jessica said, standing and dragging Chace with her, leaving Blake and Leighton still standing in a semi-embrace.
“That was weird, huh?” Blake said after they’d gone, still holding onto Leighton, who was almost having a heart-attack thinking about what she had just done.
“Weird? Almost making out with you? Totally,” she agreed, quickly.
Blake laughed a little and squeezed Leighton against her before letting her go.
“I actually meant the way those two guys were acting,” she explained. “It was almost like they were up to something.”
Leighton watched Blake bend down and open up her bag, rummaging through it, looking for something. She put her hand over her heart, willing it to slow down. Blake stood back up and thrust a small, wrapped package at her. Leighton took it and looked up to find Blake blushing furiously.
“Look, I know we said we weren’t gonna do gifts…but I…it’s nothing fancy…it’s just something I thought you might like.”
Leighton smiled affectionately at Blake’s uncharacteristic awkwardness.
“Well…as much as I love seeing you squirm…I got you something too,” she said, opening a drawer and taking out a square parcel, with a red bow around it. She handed it to Blake who smiled widely, her head tilted to the side.
They both went about unwrapping their gifts, Leighton peeled back the tape carefully, while Blake ripped through the paper gleefully. They gasped in unison.
“Oh my God where did you…” “How did you find…”
They talked over each other excitedly and then dissolved into giggles. Leighton ran her fingers over her gift. It was a book of fairy-tales, written in Dutch, bound in red leather. Tears pricked at her eyes.
“You said your grandma had one like that when you were little,” Blake said quietly, watching Leighton’s reaction.
Leighton blinked a few times and smiled.
“She did. Exactly like this. I can’t believe you remembered,” she whispered the last words, a little perturbed by how absolutely perfect Blake’s gift was. “Mine is so lame in compar-“
“Are you kidding?” Blake squealed, holding up the CD and pointing at it, “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for this? It’s, like, really rare and you practically have to be in a secret society to get it.”
Leighton rolled her eyes.
“Tell me about it. If I had to listen to one more dealer tell me in orgasmic tones about the three-hour version of ‘Night Bird’ you wouldn’t have got it!” she joked.
“It’s sixteen minutes,” Blake said, sticking out her tongue. “I love it, it’s the best gift ever!”
Blake was positively bouncing with excitement and Leighton was glad she’d spent all those hours scouring the internet and calling bizarre music dealers in search of some obscure Chet Baker bootleg. Blake’s smile made it all worthwhile.
Blake put the CD down and opened her arms, engulfing Leighton in a bear hug. Leighton squealed a little in protest, but returned the hug just as tightly, closing her eyes and concentrating on the feel of Blake’s body against hers.
“I love you,” Blake whispered, right next to her ear.
Leighton bit her lip, holding back the tears that threatened to fall.
“Me too,” she managed, after a pause.
She lifted her head from Blake’s shoulder and stood back, rubbing her nose and sniffing.
“They’re expecting me back on set,” Blake said, apologetically. “But I’ll see you tomorrow at the party. And we’re still gonna ride to the airport together on Christmas Eve, right?”
“Definitely,” Leighton affirmed.
Blake leaned in and dropped a tiny kiss on Leighton’s cheek before rushing out of the door. Leighton dropped heavily onto the couch, holding her book against her chest. She sighed. She’d forgotten exactly how exhausting unrequited love at close proximity could be. She was suddenly glad that the holiday break was coming up, it looked like she was going to need it.
*
“So, what you’re telling me is that it didn’t work,” Ed drawled, an amused eyebrow creeping up his forehead.
Jessica’s mouth hardened into a stern line. She grabbed the bottle from Chace’s hand and took a drink. She had decided not to bother spiking the punch, instead she, Chace and Ed were standing in the cloakroom sharing the concoction she had mixed up earlier. It was potent stuff and they were all a little bit tipsy already. She grimaced at the burn in her throat and handed the bottle to Ed.
“No, that’s not what we’re saying. We laid the groundwork, anything that happens from now on in is a direct result of what we started,” Jessica insisted, tugging on Ed’s arm to prevent him finishing all the liquor.
“And dude…it was totally hot!” Chace said, seriously.
“Fuck me, that’s strong,” Ed said, his voice a little strangulated, before handing the remains of the bottle to Chace. “I think you’d be hard-pressed to prove a link between any future behaviour and your little acting lesson, sweetheart.”
“I don’t have to prove anything. It’s not like it’s a competition. I just thought it would be nice if we could help them along a little,” Jessica challenged.
”True. But you can’t tell me that there isn’t some little part of you that wants to be the one to push them over the edge,” Ed said, prodding Jessica in the side.
She gave him the finger.
“And now I’m sort of wishing we’d made a bet…cuz I would definitely have won,” Ed continued.
“What would you have bet?” Chace asked, hiding the empty bottle behind a conveniently placed Christmas tree.
Ed draped an arm loosely over Chace’s shoulders and pointed at Jessica.
“If I’d won, I’d have made her do unspeakably filthy things to me in the bedroom.”
Jessica rolled her eyes.
“Like you don’t already,” she muttered.
“Oh, I’m sure I could think of something filthier, love,” Ed said.
He looked at Chace and wiggled his eyebrows. Chace sniggered, but stopped abruptly when Jessica punched his shoulder.
“And what would you have made me do if you had won, my dear?” Ed continued.
“I’d have made you take me to the ballet,” Jessica answered, smirking at the shudder that ran through Ed’s body at the thought.
“Ah, here are our lovely ladies now,” Ed murmured, watching as Blake deposited both her own and Leighton’s coats before offering her arm to Leighton and leading her into the party.
He turned back to Chace and Jessica and gestured for them to walk out before him, giving him ample opportunity to smack Jessica on the ass as she passed him. She squeaked and turned so that she was in his face.
“God, Blake’s so much more of a gentleman than you are,” she snarled.
“You don’t want a gentleman, darlin’,” he said, grabbing her around the waist and kissing her roughly, smiling against her mouth when she kissed back even harder.
*
Later in the evening, the gentle buzz of alcohol fuelled conversation hummed underneath the music. A slow, seasonal song was playing and couples were swaying happily on the dancefloor.
Ed’s hand kept creeping down Blake’s back and she kept pulling it back up.
“Stop it, I mean it!” she warned, though her eyes were full of humour.
Ed nodded, and then winked as he pinched her ass and she squealed, slapping his shoulder.
“So,” he began conversationally,”I hear you insisted that Penn leave the state?”
“Ed! Please don’t. I feel bad enough that he’s not here,” Blake said, her eyes showing genuine pain.
“I’m just kidding…I’m sure he’s already knee-deep in sun-kissed Californian totty, loving every minute,” he continued.
“God, you know just what to say to cheer a girl up,” Blake muttered, smiling affectionately.
“How about you, no-one you fancy now that you’re young, free and single again?” he asked, casually. “Some devilishly handsome British lad perhaps?”
She laughed.
”As tempting as that sounds…I think I’m gonna take a break from guys for a while.”
His lips twisted into a smile at her choice of phrase. Then his eye caught sight of something over her shoulder and he executed a complicated dance-step, resulting in them bumping unceremoniously into Chace who was dancing with Leighton.
“Watch it, man!” Chace said, keeping Leighton upright and just managing not to tread on her toes.
“My sincerest apologies, but since we’ve had this fortuitous meeting, might I be so bold as to cut in?” Ed said, bowing deeply.
Leighton smiled at Ed’s antics and rolled her eyes at Blake.
”You may indeed, kind sir,” Leighton said, curtseying.
He looked up at her and grinned.
“Thank you, m’lady.”
Then without warning he turned, grabbed Chace and waltzed off with him into the sea of bodies on the dancefloor. Leighton and Blake both laughed in surprise, watching as Ed twirled Chace under his arm. They looked at each other, realising that they were standing in the middle of the dancefloor, not dancing. Blake smiled and held out a hand to Leighton.
”Shall we?”
Leighton looked at Blake’s outstretched hand, hesitating slightly before taking it into her own. She allowed herself to be pulled into Blake’s body, Blake’s arms encircling her waist. She really had no other choice but to put her head on Blake’s shoulder, reaching up to wrap her arms around Blake’s neck. She closed her eyes and swayed in time with the music, letting Blake dictate their movements.
“This is nice,” Blake whispered, near her ear.
“Mmmhmm,” Leighton agreed.
They danced in silence for a moment.
“Was I a bad friend while I was going out with Penn?”
The unexpected question made Leighton lift her head and look up into Blake’s worried eyes.
“Why are you asking that?” Leighton asked, avoiding answering.
“I…cuz I think I was. I mean, the last couple of days I feel like I’ve seen more of you than I have in the past two months and I’d forgotten how much I love spending time with you. Just the two of us,” Blake said, laying her cards out with alarming honesty.
Leighton tried to shrug off the question.
”You had a boyfriend, obviously you were gonna spend time with him.”
“So that’s a ‘Yes, you were a bad friend’ then,” Blake said, her eyes dropping.
Leighton felt a dull ache start somewhere in her chest at the sight, at the fact she had made Blake feel sad. She touched Blake’s chin lightly, making her look up. When she saw tears shining in Blake’s eyes, her throat immediately tightened and her hand went to cup Blake’s cheek.
“Hey…you weren’t a bad friend,” she said, her voice shaking. “I’m not gonna pretend that I didn’t miss hanging out with you as much, but I didn’t grudge you the time you spent with Penn. He made you happy, so that made me happy.”
That was almost true. She did love to see Blake happy. She had just missed out the part where she wanted to be the one to make it happen.
Blake swiped at her eyes with her sleeve.
“It just…it all seemed to make sense, you know? I mean, we grew up together…I knew everything about him…it should have worked,” she said.
“Why didn’t it?” Leighton asked, before she could stop herself. She had purposefully not asked for too many details about the relationship, or the break-up. But it was out now and she couldn’t un-ask it.
Blake looked directly into Leighton’s eyes.
”He said he wasn’t my ‘forever’,” she said, shrugging. “And I guess I knew that he wasn’t. But it…it was easy to be with him because it meant that I didn’t need to think about dating and the whole circus that goes along with it, you know what I mean?”
Leighton nodded. She hated the dating scene too. She wanted it to be easy. She wanted it to be with someone she knew, someone she didn’t have to go through the ‘getting to know you’ shit with.
Blake sighed and leaned her forehead against Leighton’s.
“I wish…” she started to say.
Leighton’s breath caught in her throat. But then Blake stood up straight.
“The music’s stopped,” she said in surprise.
Leighton’s senses were so confused that it took her a moment to realise that people were calling her name. She turned to see Chace coming towards her.
“Leight, Ed and some of the guys are gonna jam…they want you to sing,” he called to her.
Her immediate reaction was to shake her head, taking a step away from him, but Blake held onto her to stop her from running.
“No, no I ca-“
“Sure you can,” Chace said. “You’re a great singer, you know you are.”
“But I…” she started, looking around the room. Everyone was looking at her and some of them had started to chant ‘sing, sing, sing’. She shook her head again.
“Go on, babe,” Blake said. “Sing something Christmassy to get me out of my funk.”
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes and Leighton was sold. She squeezed Blake’s hand and headed off in the direction of the stage. Chace dropped an arm around Blake’s shoulders, concerned by her appearance.
“You OK?” he asked, kindly.
“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine. I was just getting a bit emotional…I always get emotional at the holidays,” she explained vaguely, hooking an arm around his waist and leaning her head against his.
They watched as Leighton conversed with the band. Ed was shaking his head. Then Leighton made some kind of threatening gesture at him and he quickly started nodding. Leighton came forward and took hold of the mic.
“Hey everybody, I hope you’re all having a great time tonight. I’m gonna sing a little song and hope that you don’t all run screaming for the hills.”
There was a chorus of ‘No ways’ and Leighton blushed. Blake smiled at how self-conscious Leighton always was about her voice. Leighton turned to the band and started counting.
“…2, 3, 4…”
The band started playing softly. Leighton’s eyes were on the ground. She looked up a second before she started singing, her eyes finding Blake in the crowd.
“I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree.”
Blake’s eyes immediately filled up with tears. She blinked them away rapidly, sending a huge smile Leighton’s way. Chace was rocking her back and forth and she swayed along with him. She glanced around the room and saw that everyone was transfixed on Leighton, and that she wasn’t the only one who had teared up.
“Christmas Eve will find me, where the lovelight gleams.
I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.”
The words resonated with Blake more than she expected. She was going home for Christmas, back to California to be with her family. But she was struck at that moment by the realisation that she had never felt more at home than she had when she had turned up at Leighton’s trailer the day before.
Standing there, drinking wine, holding Leighton; she’d felt at ease for the first time in months. Looking up at the stage, she caught Leighton’s eye again.
“Christmas Eve will find me, where the lovelight gleams.”
Christmas Eve was the following day. She’d be riding to JFK with Leighton and flying to LA sitting beside her.
“I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.”
Her chest felt suddenly tight as the music drew to a close and the applause broke out. She clapped along, though she could hardly feel her hands. Leighton was pushing her hair behind her ears, grinning and blushing.
“Thank you, thank you. Now Ed’s gonna play you something a little more upbeat,” she said before slinking off the stage.
Blake watched various people congratulate Leighton and hug her. She found herself growing impatient for Leighton’s attention and was relieved when she finally made it through the crowd. Chace grabbed her and lifted her up, spinning her around.
“That was amazing!” he said, placing her back on her feet and dropping a kiss on her cheek.
“Thanks,” Leighton said, but her eyes were on Blake.
Chace saw the look that passed between the girls and graciously stepped out of the way.
Blake smiled, tipping her head to the side.
“That was absolutely beautiful,” she said, honestly. “Thank you.”
Leighton was a little surprised that Blake had acknowledged the fact that she was singing that song to her. She shrugged.
“S’OK,” she said, tipping back onto the heels of her shoes. “So…did it get you out of your funk?”
Blake smiled strangely.
“I think I’m getting there,” she whispered.
To Part 2 (Conclusion)
Fandom: Gossip Girl RPF
Pairing: Blake Lively/Leighton Meester
Challenge: The
bleighton_squee Holiday Fic ExchangeRecipient:
cannonball_312Word Count: 12,065
Rating: R
Prompt: the ever-supportive GG cast and their wonderfuly ridiculous schemes, holiday traditions, any family tradition (Meester or Lively), a vacation in Europe, Christmas!fic, witty movie and TV mentions/references, Penn out of the way, B and L in denial of their feelings, lots of dirty talking, Ed being snarky, and anything that Showtime would have wanted to make (something with a rating higher than R would be nice). also any cracktastic! AU would be much, much appreciated. also, if somebody wants to make it, i'd like to see a drag racing Blake ala The Fast and the Furious.
A/N: I tried my hardest to get most of the elements of the prompt in here (But no trip to Europe and no 'The Fast and the Furious'...sorry!)
Blake was lounging on the couch in her trailer, watching sadly as Penn threw some t-shirts and books into a bag. She played with a piece of thread on one of the throw pillows and nibbled at a loose piece of skin at the side of her left thumbnail. He glanced over at her and sighed.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
She took her hand away from her mouth.
“Like what?” she asked, unaware that she’d even been looking at him.
“Like I’m the Grinch who stole Christmas,” he said with a wry smile.
“I’m not looking at you like anything!” Blake protested.
“Uh huh,” Penn agreed, without really agreeing, and turned back to his task.
Blake watched him for a few seconds before feeling the need to elaborate.
“It’s just…you know…it kinda sucks that you’re gonna miss the Christmas party. I hear Ed’s gonna dress up like a fairy,” she said, as if this may somehow entice him to abandon his flight to LA and stay for the party.
“You mean more than he already does?” Penn asked.
Blake laughed softly. He stopped packing and moved over to sit by her bare feet on the couch.
“You know that when Grandma Badgley beckons, we all must obey. If I didn’t turn up at her soiree I’d be disinherited for sure. And she’s pretty much got all the money in the family so I need to keep on her good side,” he said, seriously.
She punched him on the shoulder.
“Don’t say things like that about your Grandma! She’s an amazing person!”
“I know, I know, I’m kidding,” he conceded. His smile faded somewhat before he continued. “And…uh…I have the onerous task of telling her that you’re not going to be her granddaughter-in-law like she’s been hinting at for the past year.”
Her eyes dropped to the floor and silence descended heavily.
“Well…that was a mood-killer, huh?” he said, squeezing Blake’s big toe until she smiled and wriggled out of his grasp.
She looked up at him, her eyes bright.
“We did the right thing, didn’t we?”
He was quiet for longer than he should have been. Because he wanted to say no. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and smother her face with kisses and tell her that it had all been a terrible mistake and that they must never be parted for even a second for the rest of their lives.
Instead he smiled and said what she wanted him to say.
“Of course we did. We know we did.”
And he did know that they’d done the right thing. He knew that he was not her forever, even though he had desperately tried to be. He knew he couldn’t have held onto her for much longer without her becoming bored or resentful. So he’d been the nice guy and ended it amicably before things got to a point where they couldn’t salvage their friendship. And of all the regrets he might have had, that would’ve been one he’d never have let go of.
She nodded in confirmation and he fought down the ache that seemed to start in his stomach and rise up his throat. He coughed and stood up, moving back to his bag to close it. He continued when he was sure his voice wouldn’t waver.
“I’m sure the party will be a blast. Jessica’s already mixed up something potent to spike the punch with. Matthew will be trying to get all the girls to sit on his lap. And Ed will almost definitely have mistletoe dangling from his fly…you won’t even notice I’m not there.”
“Yes I will,” she said, her bottom lip protruding slightly in a way that always made him want to bite it.
He allowed himself a brief moment of egotism, believing that she might actually miss him a little at the party. Then he shook his head.
“You’ll survive. Anyway, I’ll see you when you get to LA, right? We’ll go to a movie or something in the lull between Christmas and New Years.”
“That’d be cool,” she said, quietly.
He rolled his eyes.
“I suppose we better get this goodbye over with already, so come on over here and give me a hug.”
He opened his arms and she stepped into his embrace. He held her tightly, closing his eyes and burying his nose in her hair, the familiar scent increasing his melancholy tenfold. He squeezed her one last time before stepping back.
“OK, I’m outta here,” he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth quickly so that the emotion in his throat wouldn’t shine through. “So have fun at the party and have a great flight home and tell your family ‘Happy Christmas’ from me and do-“
She stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek, stopping him in mid-babble.
“You have a great Christmas,” she whispered. “You’ll have your trailer all to yourself when you get back.”
“You don’t have to…”
“Yeah…yeah I do.”
He nodded.
“Well, I’ll miss having a zillion beauty products scattered all over the place, that’s for sure.”
They both smiled. He looked up at her.
“Where will you…”
“Back to Leighton’s…”
“Oh…sure…right.”
He shouldn’t have asked. He didn’t need to. Apparently he’d developed some kind of masochistic streak lately. He nodded, needlessly, and turned to leave. He knew she was watching him go but he willed himself not to look back.
Because he knew that while she’d look sad, she’d never look at him the way he’d seen her look at Leighton. And that was the whole problem. He knew he wasn’t her forever …but he was pretty sure that her forever wasn’t a million miles away. He just didn’t know if Blake knew that.
*
Leighton whirled around her trailer picking things up and putting them back down again in the same place. It was already immaculately tidy, but for some reason she felt restless and needed to do something with her hands. It was almost like she was nervous. She giggled a little to herself at the thought. She was nervous that Blake was bringing her stuff over and moving back in. Blake, a girl she spent 16 hours a day with, with whom she had already shared a trailer.
When they’d shared in the beginning it had been great. They were just getting to know each other and everything was new and exciting. They had laughed and sung and danced around like teenagers. And at some point during all of the fun, Leighton had fallen in love with Blake.
From there things started to get a little more complicated. Leighton found herself withdrawing. Holding back if Blake hugged her and tensing when Blake took her hand. She knew Blake knew something was up, but neither of them ever addressed it. Leighton entertained fantasies that one day Blake would throw open the door to the trailer and declare her undying love for her. It never happened. The one time Blake said she had something important to tell her, it was to inform her that she and Penn had started dating and that she would be moving into his trailer.
Leighton had always scoffed at the metaphors used by romantic novelists to describe the pain of unrequited love. But watching Blake walk away with a bag slung carelessly over her shoulder that day had given her a new appreciation for the overly dramatic. Punched in the gut. Knifed in the chest. Still beating heart ripped out and trampled all over. All of the above. And all of it with a smile on her face.
She liked Penn, though. And she couldn’t bring herself to think of him as her romantic rival. It wasn’t his fault. And it wasn’t Blake’s either. Leighton hadn’t taken the opportunity to explore the possibility of any kind of relationship with Blake and now she was too late. She accepted her role with grace, and started to give herself back to her friendship with Blake. Even if the touches and hugs brought her more pain than pleasure.
And now Blake had broken up with Penn. Or, apparently, the other way around. Leighton couldn’t quite comprehend what would possess anyone to break up with Blake. And Penn had always seemed to be so into her. Far more than she had been into him. Leighton had always taken comfort in the fact that Blake was at least as affectionate with her as she was with Penn. Well, obviously with less open-mouthed kissing in the sea in Mexico or whatever. But still, Penn never seemed to be able to hold Blake’s attention.
Maybe he’d gotten bored of waiting for her to fall in love with him? Leighton could appreciate that. She’d never been one to give herself quickly, or show her hand early in a relationship and that frustrated people. Blake had taken her by surprise and got into her heart before she’d had time to close it off.
She was torn about Blake coming back. Part of her was elated that she’d have her friend back all to herself. That she’d become Blake’s favourite person on the set again. But part of her was resentful that Blake had turned up on her doorstep one day with her big, sad, puppy-eyes and announced that she’d be moving back in, expecting that to be fine with Leighton. Which it was. But it might not have been. Why should Leighton be waiting around, ready to pick up the pieces of Blake’s relationships? Why should Leighton have to squeeze her stuff into half a trailer again? Why should Leighton settle for being the rebound friend?
The answer was simple; because it was Blake.
She looked around and decided that any further tidying would actually lead to the place being less tidy. She walked into the kitchen area, stretched up and brought down a bottle of red wine. She took out two glasses and poured a generous amount of wine into each. She left one sitting on the counter and took a long swig from the other.
A shuffling sound from outside led her to the window, still cradling her glass, where she saw Blake approaching. She had a huge duffle bag slung over her shoulder, a box under her arm and a vanity case in her hand. Leighton smiled even as her heart started speeding up. She walked to the door, inhaled deeply, and opened it.
Blake came to a halt at the bottom of the steps and looked up at Leighton, a smile spreading across her face.
“Hey Roomie,” Blake said.
“Welcome back,” Leighton said, reaching out to take the vanity case and holding the door open for Blake to squeeze through with the rest of her belongings. She turned around to find Blake’s stuff deposited in the middle of her previously immaculate space. Blake had spotted the glass of wine and was on her way to get it. She moved back towards Leighton and held up her glass in a toast.
“To singledom!” she announced, before clinking her glass against Leighton’s, causing some of the liquid to slop over the side and run down her hand. She shifted the glass to her other hand before licking away the stripe of russet staining her skin. Leighton watched, fascinated, before echoing Blake’s toast.
“To singledom,” she said, with slightly less fervour than Blake, before taking a long drink, almost draining the glass.
Blake closed her eyes and moaned.
“God that’s good” she said, licking her lips. “Penn never once had a glass of wine waiting for me when I got in.”
Leighton hesitated, not really wanting to get into a discussion about Blake’s relationship with Penn.
“Yeah, well…don’t get used to it,” she said, her mouth curling up at one side despite her attempt to remain serious.
Without warning, Blake threw an arm around her shoulders and squeezed Leighton tightly against her side and kissed the top of her head.
“I missed this…you…I missed you,” Blake mumbled into her hair.
Leighton’s throat tightened at the words. She marvelled at how easily they came to Blake, how easily they tumbled from her mouth. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Blake’s waist, muttering ‘me too’ against her shoulder.
Blake pulled back gently and looked down at Leighton, smiling softly. Leighton smiled back, the wine she had gulped down making her face feel warm and her lips tingle. The part of her brain that secretly loved romantic clichés was screaming ‘Kiss her!’
Then the door to the trailer burst open and the moment was broken as Chace and Jessica barrelled in arguing about something or other. Leighton literally jumped away from Blake, as if they had been involved in a far more intimate clinch. Blake looked at her quizzically but Leighton focussed on the newcomers.
“Uh, has knocking gone out of fashion, guys? I could’ve been doing anything!” she said, sternly.
Chace and Jessica stopped bickering long enough to take in the occupants of the trailer. Both looked surprised to see Blake.
“Sorry Lei… you’re just usually on your own…reading or something,” Chace said, apologetically.
“Could you make me sound any lamer?” Leighton muttered.
“Look, if you guys are doing something we can come back…” Jessica suggested, tugging on Chace’s arm and heading back to the door.
“No, it’s cool,” Blake said, smiling easily, “I was just moving my stuff back in is all.”
Jessica stopped pulling Chace to the door and they both nodded, silently acknowledging the awkward reason for the move.
“So, was there a reason for your visit or is it just a routine invasion of my privacy?” Leighton asked, wearily.
Chace and Jessica looked at her. Jessica elbowed Chace.
“Oh, right…well…we, uh…we have this scene coming up where we have to…you know, do stuff…and it’s…well it’s not going so well.”
Leighton looked to Jessica for an explanation. Jessica rolled her eyes.
“We have a sex scene to film and we disagree on the best way to do it…Chace said that you were always really good at coming up with blocking for this kind of stuff so we thought we’d come and ask your opinion.”
Leighton raised an eyebrow. Coming to ask for acting tips wasn’t something she would have expected from Jess. Chace, she had worked with a number of times on different scenes and he had no qualms about coming to ask her opinion. But Jessica had always seemed pretty sure of her work. Something felt off about this.
“Look, d’you want me to go…if you’re gonna work on a scene…” Blake asked Jessica.
“Hey, no. It’d be cool to get your thoughts too,” Chace said, putting his hand on Blake’s shoulder, stopping her from moving away.
Leighton dropped down onto the couch, Blake plopping down beside her a second later.
“OK, show us what you got,” Leighton said, gesturing for them to act.
“OK, so this is the first time that Nate and Vanessa have sex,” Jessica said, setting the scene. “So it’s all about getting to the fade-to-black point and it should be really hot…but it kinda feels really forced…right?”
She nudged Chace.
”Right. Forced,” he said, nodding.
Blake was nodding along, sympathetically but Leighton was becoming more suspicious by the minute. Something was not right.
“So…are you gonna do the scene or what?” she asked, a little snippily.
Jessica turned to Chace and raised her eyebrows.
“Action!” Blake shouted, clapping her hands together once.
Jessica gave a tiny eye-roll that made Leighton smirk, but she then moved into character. She dipped her head a little and looked up at Chace through her eyelashes.
“So…your Mom’s away for the weekend?” she asked.
“She’s visiting my grandparents. Trying to build some bridges,” Chace said, shoving his hands into his pockets. Leighton frowned.
“So…” Jessica said, tilting her head to the side.
“So…” Chace’s hands remained in his pockets, and there was still three feet of space between them.
“Wait!” Leighton called, standing up and approaching them, yanking Chace’s hand out of his jeans and pulling Jessica forward. “Personal space is not required at this point, people…”
Jessica sighed.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with us…it’s just not working in my head,” she looked at Leighton out of the side of her eye, “Maybe if we were to…see it…you know, from another angle.”
“Oh…well, I suppose I could…”
Leighton turned to Chace and draped herself around his shoulders. He quickly removed her and held her at arm’s length.
“I’d kinda like to see it too,” he looked around the room, as if searching for something.
His eyes landed on Blake and his face lit up. And Leighton’s heart sank. That was what was wrong, the whole thing was a total set-up. Most of the cast had, at some point, teased Leighton good-naturedly about her crush on Blake. But now, it looked like they might have stepped it up to actual match-making. She was drawn out of her thoughts by Chace continuing to speak.
“Maybe you could do it with Blake…you know, so we could both see it!”
He was trying so hard to look like this idea had just occurred to him. But, though the boy was blessed with the face of a god, his acting abilities were somewhat less celestial. Leighton could see Jessica cringe slightly at Chace’s over-exuberance.
“No, I do-“
“Sure, we can do that, right Leight?” Blake interrupted, standing up and stalking across the small space so that she was standing right next to Leighton. She reached out and snagged Jessica’s script, scanning over it before handing it to Leighton.
Leighton looked at Blake for a long moment before turning her eyes to the script. Her heart was thumping in her chest and she was inordinately angry with the two people currently occupying her couch and looking up at her eagerly. But she was a professional. And if they wanted an acting lesson, they’d fucking get one.
She dropped the script onto the floor and turned to face Blake.
“You’re Nate. Ready?”
“Why am I the boy?” Blake whined, pouting a little when Chace and Jess both laughed at her question.
Leighton quirked an eyebrow at Blake and she relented with a small huff. Leighton turned back to Chace and Jessica.
“The dialogue’s lame, but it’s not about the words…it’s what you’re doing while you say them that’s gonna clinch it.”
She was well aware that she was being condescending, she could see Jessica bristle at her words, but they had asked for it. She turned back to Blake. She reached out and ran a hand down Blake’s forearm, fingertips barely brushing her skin. When she reached her hand, she linked their fingers loosely together and swung them gently, keeping her eyes locked with Blake’s the whole time.
“So…your Mom’s away for the weekend?”
Her voice was low, bordering on sultry, but it held the tiniest crack of insecurity. Blake reached up to sweep a strand of hair behind one of Leighton’s ears, letting her fingers brush against her neck in the process.
“She’s visiting my grandparents. Trying to build some bridges,” Blake said with a little shrug. She tightened the hold she had on Leighton’s hand, smiling gently.
Leighton finally broke eye-contact, looking down and letting her hair fall over her face as she laughed nervously. She looked back up, her eyes serious as she searched Blake’s face.
“So…?” she whispered, giving the word a questioning inflection.
Blake let go of Leighton’s hand and rested her own hands at the base of Leighton’s spine, drawing her in so that their torsos were touching, their lips inches apart. Leighton’s breath was coming fast as her eyes flicked to Blake’s lips.
“So,” Blake said, assuredly, her nose brushing Leighton’s. Leighton’s eyes closed as Blake Eskimo kissed her softly. She opened them again when Blake drew back and turned to Jessica and Chace.
“So, was that what you had in mind?” Blake asked, innocently.
Chace was gaping at them and Jessica looked uncomfortable.
“Maybe we could see it one more ti-,“ Chace started to say.
“No, I think that was perfect, thanks guys,” Jessica said, standing and dragging Chace with her, leaving Blake and Leighton still standing in a semi-embrace.
“That was weird, huh?” Blake said after they’d gone, still holding onto Leighton, who was almost having a heart-attack thinking about what she had just done.
“Weird? Almost making out with you? Totally,” she agreed, quickly.
Blake laughed a little and squeezed Leighton against her before letting her go.
“I actually meant the way those two guys were acting,” she explained. “It was almost like they were up to something.”
Leighton watched Blake bend down and open up her bag, rummaging through it, looking for something. She put her hand over her heart, willing it to slow down. Blake stood back up and thrust a small, wrapped package at her. Leighton took it and looked up to find Blake blushing furiously.
“Look, I know we said we weren’t gonna do gifts…but I…it’s nothing fancy…it’s just something I thought you might like.”
Leighton smiled affectionately at Blake’s uncharacteristic awkwardness.
“Well…as much as I love seeing you squirm…I got you something too,” she said, opening a drawer and taking out a square parcel, with a red bow around it. She handed it to Blake who smiled widely, her head tilted to the side.
They both went about unwrapping their gifts, Leighton peeled back the tape carefully, while Blake ripped through the paper gleefully. They gasped in unison.
“Oh my God where did you…” “How did you find…”
They talked over each other excitedly and then dissolved into giggles. Leighton ran her fingers over her gift. It was a book of fairy-tales, written in Dutch, bound in red leather. Tears pricked at her eyes.
“You said your grandma had one like that when you were little,” Blake said quietly, watching Leighton’s reaction.
Leighton blinked a few times and smiled.
“She did. Exactly like this. I can’t believe you remembered,” she whispered the last words, a little perturbed by how absolutely perfect Blake’s gift was. “Mine is so lame in compar-“
“Are you kidding?” Blake squealed, holding up the CD and pointing at it, “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for this? It’s, like, really rare and you practically have to be in a secret society to get it.”
Leighton rolled her eyes.
“Tell me about it. If I had to listen to one more dealer tell me in orgasmic tones about the three-hour version of ‘Night Bird’ you wouldn’t have got it!” she joked.
“It’s sixteen minutes,” Blake said, sticking out her tongue. “I love it, it’s the best gift ever!”
Blake was positively bouncing with excitement and Leighton was glad she’d spent all those hours scouring the internet and calling bizarre music dealers in search of some obscure Chet Baker bootleg. Blake’s smile made it all worthwhile.
Blake put the CD down and opened her arms, engulfing Leighton in a bear hug. Leighton squealed a little in protest, but returned the hug just as tightly, closing her eyes and concentrating on the feel of Blake’s body against hers.
“I love you,” Blake whispered, right next to her ear.
Leighton bit her lip, holding back the tears that threatened to fall.
“Me too,” she managed, after a pause.
She lifted her head from Blake’s shoulder and stood back, rubbing her nose and sniffing.
“They’re expecting me back on set,” Blake said, apologetically. “But I’ll see you tomorrow at the party. And we’re still gonna ride to the airport together on Christmas Eve, right?”
“Definitely,” Leighton affirmed.
Blake leaned in and dropped a tiny kiss on Leighton’s cheek before rushing out of the door. Leighton dropped heavily onto the couch, holding her book against her chest. She sighed. She’d forgotten exactly how exhausting unrequited love at close proximity could be. She was suddenly glad that the holiday break was coming up, it looked like she was going to need it.
*
“So, what you’re telling me is that it didn’t work,” Ed drawled, an amused eyebrow creeping up his forehead.
Jessica’s mouth hardened into a stern line. She grabbed the bottle from Chace’s hand and took a drink. She had decided not to bother spiking the punch, instead she, Chace and Ed were standing in the cloakroom sharing the concoction she had mixed up earlier. It was potent stuff and they were all a little bit tipsy already. She grimaced at the burn in her throat and handed the bottle to Ed.
“No, that’s not what we’re saying. We laid the groundwork, anything that happens from now on in is a direct result of what we started,” Jessica insisted, tugging on Ed’s arm to prevent him finishing all the liquor.
“And dude…it was totally hot!” Chace said, seriously.
“Fuck me, that’s strong,” Ed said, his voice a little strangulated, before handing the remains of the bottle to Chace. “I think you’d be hard-pressed to prove a link between any future behaviour and your little acting lesson, sweetheart.”
“I don’t have to prove anything. It’s not like it’s a competition. I just thought it would be nice if we could help them along a little,” Jessica challenged.
”True. But you can’t tell me that there isn’t some little part of you that wants to be the one to push them over the edge,” Ed said, prodding Jessica in the side.
She gave him the finger.
“And now I’m sort of wishing we’d made a bet…cuz I would definitely have won,” Ed continued.
“What would you have bet?” Chace asked, hiding the empty bottle behind a conveniently placed Christmas tree.
Ed draped an arm loosely over Chace’s shoulders and pointed at Jessica.
“If I’d won, I’d have made her do unspeakably filthy things to me in the bedroom.”
Jessica rolled her eyes.
“Like you don’t already,” she muttered.
“Oh, I’m sure I could think of something filthier, love,” Ed said.
He looked at Chace and wiggled his eyebrows. Chace sniggered, but stopped abruptly when Jessica punched his shoulder.
“And what would you have made me do if you had won, my dear?” Ed continued.
“I’d have made you take me to the ballet,” Jessica answered, smirking at the shudder that ran through Ed’s body at the thought.
“Ah, here are our lovely ladies now,” Ed murmured, watching as Blake deposited both her own and Leighton’s coats before offering her arm to Leighton and leading her into the party.
He turned back to Chace and Jessica and gestured for them to walk out before him, giving him ample opportunity to smack Jessica on the ass as she passed him. She squeaked and turned so that she was in his face.
“God, Blake’s so much more of a gentleman than you are,” she snarled.
“You don’t want a gentleman, darlin’,” he said, grabbing her around the waist and kissing her roughly, smiling against her mouth when she kissed back even harder.
*
Later in the evening, the gentle buzz of alcohol fuelled conversation hummed underneath the music. A slow, seasonal song was playing and couples were swaying happily on the dancefloor.
Ed’s hand kept creeping down Blake’s back and she kept pulling it back up.
“Stop it, I mean it!” she warned, though her eyes were full of humour.
Ed nodded, and then winked as he pinched her ass and she squealed, slapping his shoulder.
“So,” he began conversationally,”I hear you insisted that Penn leave the state?”
“Ed! Please don’t. I feel bad enough that he’s not here,” Blake said, her eyes showing genuine pain.
“I’m just kidding…I’m sure he’s already knee-deep in sun-kissed Californian totty, loving every minute,” he continued.
“God, you know just what to say to cheer a girl up,” Blake muttered, smiling affectionately.
“How about you, no-one you fancy now that you’re young, free and single again?” he asked, casually. “Some devilishly handsome British lad perhaps?”
She laughed.
”As tempting as that sounds…I think I’m gonna take a break from guys for a while.”
His lips twisted into a smile at her choice of phrase. Then his eye caught sight of something over her shoulder and he executed a complicated dance-step, resulting in them bumping unceremoniously into Chace who was dancing with Leighton.
“Watch it, man!” Chace said, keeping Leighton upright and just managing not to tread on her toes.
“My sincerest apologies, but since we’ve had this fortuitous meeting, might I be so bold as to cut in?” Ed said, bowing deeply.
Leighton smiled at Ed’s antics and rolled her eyes at Blake.
”You may indeed, kind sir,” Leighton said, curtseying.
He looked up at her and grinned.
“Thank you, m’lady.”
Then without warning he turned, grabbed Chace and waltzed off with him into the sea of bodies on the dancefloor. Leighton and Blake both laughed in surprise, watching as Ed twirled Chace under his arm. They looked at each other, realising that they were standing in the middle of the dancefloor, not dancing. Blake smiled and held out a hand to Leighton.
”Shall we?”
Leighton looked at Blake’s outstretched hand, hesitating slightly before taking it into her own. She allowed herself to be pulled into Blake’s body, Blake’s arms encircling her waist. She really had no other choice but to put her head on Blake’s shoulder, reaching up to wrap her arms around Blake’s neck. She closed her eyes and swayed in time with the music, letting Blake dictate their movements.
“This is nice,” Blake whispered, near her ear.
“Mmmhmm,” Leighton agreed.
They danced in silence for a moment.
“Was I a bad friend while I was going out with Penn?”
The unexpected question made Leighton lift her head and look up into Blake’s worried eyes.
“Why are you asking that?” Leighton asked, avoiding answering.
“I…cuz I think I was. I mean, the last couple of days I feel like I’ve seen more of you than I have in the past two months and I’d forgotten how much I love spending time with you. Just the two of us,” Blake said, laying her cards out with alarming honesty.
Leighton tried to shrug off the question.
”You had a boyfriend, obviously you were gonna spend time with him.”
“So that’s a ‘Yes, you were a bad friend’ then,” Blake said, her eyes dropping.
Leighton felt a dull ache start somewhere in her chest at the sight, at the fact she had made Blake feel sad. She touched Blake’s chin lightly, making her look up. When she saw tears shining in Blake’s eyes, her throat immediately tightened and her hand went to cup Blake’s cheek.
“Hey…you weren’t a bad friend,” she said, her voice shaking. “I’m not gonna pretend that I didn’t miss hanging out with you as much, but I didn’t grudge you the time you spent with Penn. He made you happy, so that made me happy.”
That was almost true. She did love to see Blake happy. She had just missed out the part where she wanted to be the one to make it happen.
Blake swiped at her eyes with her sleeve.
“It just…it all seemed to make sense, you know? I mean, we grew up together…I knew everything about him…it should have worked,” she said.
“Why didn’t it?” Leighton asked, before she could stop herself. She had purposefully not asked for too many details about the relationship, or the break-up. But it was out now and she couldn’t un-ask it.
Blake looked directly into Leighton’s eyes.
”He said he wasn’t my ‘forever’,” she said, shrugging. “And I guess I knew that he wasn’t. But it…it was easy to be with him because it meant that I didn’t need to think about dating and the whole circus that goes along with it, you know what I mean?”
Leighton nodded. She hated the dating scene too. She wanted it to be easy. She wanted it to be with someone she knew, someone she didn’t have to go through the ‘getting to know you’ shit with.
Blake sighed and leaned her forehead against Leighton’s.
“I wish…” she started to say.
Leighton’s breath caught in her throat. But then Blake stood up straight.
“The music’s stopped,” she said in surprise.
Leighton’s senses were so confused that it took her a moment to realise that people were calling her name. She turned to see Chace coming towards her.
“Leight, Ed and some of the guys are gonna jam…they want you to sing,” he called to her.
Her immediate reaction was to shake her head, taking a step away from him, but Blake held onto her to stop her from running.
“No, no I ca-“
“Sure you can,” Chace said. “You’re a great singer, you know you are.”
“But I…” she started, looking around the room. Everyone was looking at her and some of them had started to chant ‘sing, sing, sing’. She shook her head again.
“Go on, babe,” Blake said. “Sing something Christmassy to get me out of my funk.”
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes and Leighton was sold. She squeezed Blake’s hand and headed off in the direction of the stage. Chace dropped an arm around Blake’s shoulders, concerned by her appearance.
“You OK?” he asked, kindly.
“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine. I was just getting a bit emotional…I always get emotional at the holidays,” she explained vaguely, hooking an arm around his waist and leaning her head against his.
They watched as Leighton conversed with the band. Ed was shaking his head. Then Leighton made some kind of threatening gesture at him and he quickly started nodding. Leighton came forward and took hold of the mic.
“Hey everybody, I hope you’re all having a great time tonight. I’m gonna sing a little song and hope that you don’t all run screaming for the hills.”
There was a chorus of ‘No ways’ and Leighton blushed. Blake smiled at how self-conscious Leighton always was about her voice. Leighton turned to the band and started counting.
“…2, 3, 4…”
The band started playing softly. Leighton’s eyes were on the ground. She looked up a second before she started singing, her eyes finding Blake in the crowd.
“I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree.”
Blake’s eyes immediately filled up with tears. She blinked them away rapidly, sending a huge smile Leighton’s way. Chace was rocking her back and forth and she swayed along with him. She glanced around the room and saw that everyone was transfixed on Leighton, and that she wasn’t the only one who had teared up.
“Christmas Eve will find me, where the lovelight gleams.
I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.”
The words resonated with Blake more than she expected. She was going home for Christmas, back to California to be with her family. But she was struck at that moment by the realisation that she had never felt more at home than she had when she had turned up at Leighton’s trailer the day before.
Standing there, drinking wine, holding Leighton; she’d felt at ease for the first time in months. Looking up at the stage, she caught Leighton’s eye again.
“Christmas Eve will find me, where the lovelight gleams.”
Christmas Eve was the following day. She’d be riding to JFK with Leighton and flying to LA sitting beside her.
“I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.”
Her chest felt suddenly tight as the music drew to a close and the applause broke out. She clapped along, though she could hardly feel her hands. Leighton was pushing her hair behind her ears, grinning and blushing.
“Thank you, thank you. Now Ed’s gonna play you something a little more upbeat,” she said before slinking off the stage.
Blake watched various people congratulate Leighton and hug her. She found herself growing impatient for Leighton’s attention and was relieved when she finally made it through the crowd. Chace grabbed her and lifted her up, spinning her around.
“That was amazing!” he said, placing her back on her feet and dropping a kiss on her cheek.
“Thanks,” Leighton said, but her eyes were on Blake.
Chace saw the look that passed between the girls and graciously stepped out of the way.
Blake smiled, tipping her head to the side.
“That was absolutely beautiful,” she said, honestly. “Thank you.”
Leighton was a little surprised that Blake had acknowledged the fact that she was singing that song to her. She shrugged.
“S’OK,” she said, tipping back onto the heels of her shoes. “So…did it get you out of your funk?”
Blake smiled strangely.
“I think I’m getting there,” she whispered.
To Part 2 (Conclusion)
